I think I have taken a lot of things for granted. I know it is inherently human to have some sort of regret and usually, it is paired with a feeling of nostalgia. I think I took high school for granted in some ways.  At this age, there is a sense of security that you will always feel. Where you’re old enough to have some independence, but not too old where you have so much that you don’t know what to do with it anymore. I feel like I didn’t take enough opportunities to expand beyond my bubble, but my bubble is very comfortable and that is how I like it sometimes. 

But I do know for a fact that I haven’t taken the people I’ve met and the friendships I’ve made for granted. I’m beyond grateful for them. Even the ones I haven’t talked to and have drifted away from me. I think everyone has taught me some sort of valuable lesson. Some are sweet sentiments like, “I’m always here for you if you need me.” And others are not as great, but it is a learning experience nonetheless. People are fickle and sometimes I get whiplash from it, but I think it really showed me those who are genuine. I know I will keep those genuine people close to me. They mean the world to me. 

It is weird how quickly your life can change. You go four years sticking to the same routine, but after there is a disruption. You become separated from that part of yourself. From that part of your life. I can’t say high school treated me the best. I definitely did not take care of myself as much as I needed to. I mean I would get excited when I got time to sleep. And still, somehow I know I will miss it because of that sense of security I mentioned before. 

Sometimes I feel guilty for leaving everyone. I knew going to school at Boston University would mean that there would be a greater rift between my family and myself, but I took this as a challenge. Some part of me expects me to fail, but I know it would be a bigger failure if I didn’t at least try. Gracie Abrams has a song called “Right now” and it’s about leaving the familiar and finding that you are “more alive” away from it even if it makes you feel horrible for being selfish. I know that is how I will feel. Guilty still, but happy that I made this decision. That I challenged myself to grow. 

While I’m out here quoting my favorite artists, Taylor Swift wrote a song called “You’re On Your Own, Kid.” I think this song pretty much sums up every feeling I have. Near the end of the song Taylor Swift sings, “Take the moment and taste it, You’ve got no reason to be afraid.” And I hope that everyone who reads this realizes to not take anything for granted. In the moment you will hate everything because it is exhausting, but when you look back you’re going to realize how you wish you could rewind certain parts of it. But don’t wallow. Wallowing sucks. Stop replaying Ribs by Lorde over and over again because you’re starting to miss everything that surrounds you. That was more of a direct call out to myself, but nonetheless great advice. Remember that the future is just as important. It is an opportunity. Don’t take that for granted. 

I think I am slowly becoming the best version of myself. Emphasis on slowly, but I am still getting there. I’ve seen myself grow and realize my own potential. In these four years, I’ve figured out who I am as a person and who I want to be. I think that is the most important thing I’ve ever learned and I think anyone who lets it happen will be surprised with the outcome. 

I will always be grateful and cherish the time I had. Yes, I will remember and have flashbacks to moments I wish I could relive forever, but I know that moving forward is important. One of my favorite teachers told me that in order to live life you have to close the old chapter and open the new one. Thanks, Mrs. Rodino for that advice. Your APUSH class will always be my favorite. I don’t think I will ever fully be ready, but we are aiming for perseverance, not perfection. So in the wise words of Taylor Swift, “Next Chapter.”